The Truth Is -

The truth is -
it's been a while. A long while!

A while since I have blogged, shot, talked to you guys, posted on facebook, or anything else. 

And honestly - I am ok with it.

One thing I am sorry for is leaving you guys in the dark. So,

Let me explain:

First and foremost I am Mom to some amazing little boys. This past summer I felt like I needed to spend every second with them. They grow up so fast I don't want to look back and say "I wish I had done that differently." We found a new sport - surfing, went to the beach - a lot, parks, pools, game nights, lazy days, and just had genuine family fun! 

At this time I did not realize that I was on the emotional roller coaster of life.

They were all going to school at the same time! I was excited for the year to start!

 So I thought. 

I didn't realize until that first day of school how not ok I was.  

 What do I do with myself now that they are gone!?

I had been writing an entire list of things for at least a year! 

And then it hit me - holy crap I have been letting life eat at me for like forever! 

And it literally effects everything - and I mean everything! 

I won't get into all the details and bore y'all with all the nitty gritty details.
 But, it's life- y'all know what I mean. 

Here's the thing:

I know what exactly I want to do - but it's doing it that is the problem!  I know that I want to finally get around to those goals written down in that book. I want to make all of my clients extremely happy. I want to have an abundant amount of clients. I want to make some amazing images.  All the while still being a good mom.

I want, I want, I want!

Am I bored with photography? Am I over it? What is it?!

It's called a rut.
Doing the same things day in, day out. Doing the same ol, same ol. 

It sucks! 

So, how do I fix it! 

I have spent pretty much all of this summer trying to figure out exactly how to "fix it."

I "fix it" by instead of going down the straight narrow road, I am taking a turn down that backroad. See what new adventures there are! Not planning out my adventure for the day, just go! 

While there are some things in my life that are definitely not perfect, this - this job right here - it's perfect for me. 

I have had a lot of jobs in my past, and they have never stuck. I get bored with it and move on to the next thing. I was the kid that changed their mind a million times of what they wanted to be when they grow up. Only thing is I did it until I was about 24. LOL! 

I finally found my thing, my niche, my love. 

So, I am not giving up on it now!

This blog post right here is one of my steps into getting out of my rut.

I have also gone out to play with my camera (which I wasn't doing) and even learned new things! I am even exploring new ways to get the creativity flowing with new things like digital art, and photo manipulation!

It's an amazing feeling to have that fire lit again. 

I just need to learn the steps to not let it get burnt out again. :)

So, I apologize for leaving you guys in the dark.
But, you guys deserve the 110% Amanda, not the 50% Amanda.

I am happy to report though
The 110% Amanda is back, and here to stay!
And I am excited!
So, y'all be ready for some great stuff coming up!

And when you guys see me needing models, or other things - don't be afraid! Lets get together and play! Lets go down the unbeaten path together! You never know, you might find something new that you love too! :) 

Thanks guys! Thank you for always being there and going for the ride with me!
Without you guys, there would be nothing!

Love, Amanda

PS: I cried writing this, and almost had an anxiety attack pouring my heart out! LOL! :)  It's tough being an artist - we are emotional folk!